Snowshoveling
by Citrine Nebulae
Summary: Matt and Mello are shoveling the drive to Wammy's House when Near offers his assistance. The teens smell disaster...one-shot. Silly. T for language.


**Prepare for ridiculousness. Like, woah. Like. I said like. Like.**

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Behind the frosted windowpanes of Wammy's House, children were just beginning to awaken. It was warm and cozy inside, and the kitchen was currently brewing several gallons of hot chocolate for breakfast. Yes – inside the walls of Wammy's House, it was bright and cheerful.

But if you were on the outside, like Mello and Matt, you were miserable.

They'd woken up several hours before the rest of the students and were out shoveling the mile long driveway to the front gate. It was their punishment set forth by Roger for knocking over an entire row of bookshelves in the library. So he had banished them into the freezing cold weather at six o'clock in the morning. And all Mello could think about how _absolutely fucking cold it was._

"I HATE THIS!" Mello yelled for the hundredth time, and threw his snow shovel. It landed deep in the snow about ten yards away. Then he clenched his gloved fists and clomped through the snow after it. Matt watched him while lighting up another cigarette. Mello returned with his shovel and started to dig into the snow again. When he cleared another few meters, he'd throw his shovel again. And Matt would light another cigarette and watch.

The kids would be spilling out into the yard before long, suited up for a long snow day. They had until then to finish. Mello furiously brushed snow off of the fur of his coat after tripping into a drift.

"Nice," Matt commented. "That was definitely one for the blooper reel."

Mello brandished his shovel at Matt, who dodged playfully.

"There you are," came a voice from behind them. They turned around and saw Near. He was wearing a massive white parka that swamped him, and white snow pants and boots. He blended in with the snow almost perfectly.

"What are you doing here?" Mello sneered. He took his chocolate bar out of his coat pocket and broke some off.

"I came to offer my assistance."

"But you hate being outside," Matt pointed out. "And it's cold and wet, which is worse. You're like a cat."

"I'm not aware of possessing any similar characteristics to that of a feline."

"What do you mean, your assistance?" Mello said, getting back to the point.

"I intend to aid you in clearing the driveway from the obstruction of snow. Do you have any extra equipment?" Near said.

"I'll get a shovel," Matt said, and run back towards Wammy's House. When he returned, he held a Near-sized snow shovel.

"Thank you," Near said. Matt and Mello watched in fascination as the small albino boy began shoveling. He was almost as efficient as a backhoe. "Aren't you two going to help?" The other two teens jumped and started working, occasionally glancing at the bizarre sight of Near tirelessly shoveling snow.

After a quarter of an hour, the snow on the drive had been cleared considerably. Mello looked up and took a bite of his chocolate, squinting against the harsh sun that reflected off the snow.

"Where'd Near go?" he asked Matt. Near was nowhere to be seen. Matt looked up from his work.

"Huh?"

"Near is gone."

Matt straightened up completely.

"Near?"

"Yes, Near," Mello said slowly, with mock patience. "The little sheep freak that we've terrorized for over three years now."

"I know who Near is," Matt smirked. "But he's probably up in the library or something, like always."

"But he was just out here!" Mello yelled, annoyed at his friend's thickness. _Honestly…_

Matt raised his eyebrows and looked concerned.

"Oh, my God," Mello said, his eyes widening. He turned in a circle, feeling panicked. "We _LOST NEAR_. We're so _DEAD_." He dropped his shovel, throwing his chocolate to the side, and dove into a snow drift, swimming around, hoping to step on the kid. What was with all that white? They would never be able to find him in this snow!

After a fruitless search of a few square feet, Mello sat up in the snow.

"Roger is going to kill us."

Matt's jaw was unhinged. His cigarette had fallen out of his mouth and fizzled out in the snow, leaving a black circle on the ground.

"What are you waiting for? Help me find him!" Mello cried. It couldn't end like this…to be expelled from Wammy's House and lose his chances of becoming L? _Not because the little cream puff got himself lost in the snow. _

"Mello," Matt said slowly, looking at him very seriously. "Near hates being outside. And it's snowing. There's absolutely no way he'd be out here….are you alright?"

Mello stood up and a shower of snow floated off him. He stood still for a moment, then tramped back over to the drive and picked up his chocolate bar. He looked at it. Turned it over several times. Peeled the wrapper further back. He looked horrified.

"Oh, my God!" he shouted. He tossed the chocolate into the snow and grabbed his shovel. Matt watched as Mello proceeded to assault the chocolate bar with his shovel, chopping it into a million unidentifiable pieces. When he was finished, he threw the shovel away and jumped up and down, flapping his hands like he was trying to rid them of something disgusting.

"What was that about?" Matt asked over Mello's jabbering. Mello stopped dancing around.

"There's something wrong with that chocolate. I don't know what it is, but it's _**wrong**_."

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**It was funnier in my mind. But you thought he was legit lost in the snow, didn't you? : ) Widely accepted joke, Near in the snow. But I tricked you!**

**No I didn't. **

**Reviews help Mello get untainted chocolate. The poor boy. **


End file.
